Evil Haruo: It's a wonder how anyone gets anything done around here. Phil and Catherine spend their time yacking at or with each other. When one's up the other's down...they can't seem to coordinate their emotions on any simple level. And I swear they're driving me insane. At least my evil trait tends to keep me from insanity at any rate...but we'll see several months in...if I haven't gone completely around the bend.
Well, what am I doing? Since I seem to be the most productive one in the family, I'm out here dumpster diving, what a glorious occupation for someone who wants to take over the world. No, I'm not happy about it, but well...what can you do. Meanwhile, the Emperor of Evil decided to leave his car out. Well, sorry, bub, it's mine now.
Phil, on the other hand, is spending his time talking to himself. Don't know why...but well...that's Phil. Nobody knows what Phil's doing...other than being a Robot Creature Cross-Breeder in training. I guess maybe it takes some insanity to do that, but who knows? Well, hey, whatever turns his crank. I guess, it's OK to talk to yourself. It's even OK to answer yourself, but when you ask yourself to repeat what you just said - then you might have a problem.
If he starts interrupting himself, we'll have the asylum on speed-dial.
Meanwhile Catherine is doing her best to try and ignore him while he's having himself a conversation with himself.
River found herself a job at the Wilsonoff Theatre and well...it's only a part-time job, but at least it will leave her enough time for herself to do whatever goody-two-shoes things she likes to do in the interim. For me the thought of doing something "good" is absolutely nauseating.
Oh...lookie, so just as I'm coming out of the gym where I decided to sneak in and use the showers without paying (Hey, I'm evil...what can I say? Why spend money when I'm trying to take over the world), I run into River's mom. Evidently she doesn't know where River is. For all she knows, River has run away. She doesn't give me a second glance...even though I know where River is and I smile a self-satisfied evil grin.
I run across the street to the park and go grab myself a meal. Hey...I might as well. I'm doing the hard work to earn money for the household and build our house into something that is worth something. But I'm always on the lookout for financial gain.
Being my evil self and even though it's eleven at night, I decided to crank the volume up on my microphone and start ranting about love and relationships and how men keep getting the short end of the stick. That's a great way to make enemies and I'm loving it immensely. Especially when Vita Alto opens the window and yells to "Shut Up!!!" No, I don't know what time it is. Nor do I care one iota.
Meanwhile Catherine and Phil decide that tonight is a great night to play with water balloons. Well, they can't blame me if they freeze their hind-quarters off.
I don't know what time they came into the house, but it would have served themselves right if they had frozen into popsicles. If they had...all the more room for us and I would have been able to sell one the bunkbeds. What a pity.
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